These past couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I went from having absolutely no confidence to being ok with whatever happens. However, this progression didn’t start out so smoothly.
So on Tuesday January 21st, I heard back from my first graduate program. It was Colorado State, my #3 school. I opened my email and read the message. My heart broke for a second. I didn’t get in. With very little confidence already, a rejection didn’t help. However, hope was still alive because my other two top 3 schools were still processing my application.
On Friday January 24th while preparing for my OA retreat, I sent an email to the VPSA at my university in regards to possible funding for the NASPA Conference in March. While waiting for a response, I get an unexpected email from Western Illinois University. I opened the email and my jaw dropped. It was an invitation to their CSP Days. I literally jumped up and down and started screaming. It had finally happened; I had a success story. The day was only made better by OA retreat. I learned so much about myself during this two day retreat. I discovered that I’m a BLUE on the True Colors personality test. I also got to know so many people and shared things that I never really shared with anyone…EVER! I also realized just how much I ramble when speaking in front of a large group. More about OA later though. I do have to say that my confidence was substantially higher because of this success.
Now today! After what started off as a 4 day weekend (snow day on Friday and I don’t have classes on Monday) I received an email from one of the faculty at UVM. I sent an email to UVM on Friday asking about the status of my application and when we’d find out if we made the second set of interview days. In the response I got this morning, it said that my application was not forwarded from the graduate school to the program so I am not considered for candidacy. Now this is UVM, my #1 school. The school that I dreamt about attending. The school that I tailored everything to. From my personal statement to my resume, it was all organized with UVM in mind.
However, this news did not get me down. I simply replied with a thank you. I thought I’d be devastated if I didn’t get into UVM, but I’m not. As much as I’ve stressed my yearning to attend UVM, Western Illinois University was my number 2 school. And with recommendations from a proud alumna of their CSP program and the VPSA of my university I am so happy to have earned a spot in the CSP Days. I’m geniunely ecstatic. I’m realizing that I was trying to go in a direction that I wasn’t meant to go. I’m being pushed to the place I need to be. This has happened to me my entire life.
Meant To Be
Never in my life have I gotten my first choice anything. When applying to UT, I didn’t get into my first choice major. When I applied for OA the first time, I didn’t get it. When applying for RA, I didn’t get my first choice hall. When applying for SRA, I didn’t get any hall that was my choice. When it came to OA committees, I didn’t get into my first choice committee, but my second choice. All in all, while I may not have gotten my top choice, I got the things that I need to learn and grow and better myself. I’ve always gotten into place where I was meant to be.
With an interview scheduled for March and my still waiting for two schools to reply, the future is looking good. It doesn’t matter what happens, I’ll end up where I’m supposed to be. If grad school doesn’t work out, I’m simply gonna audition for The Voice and give music a try while I take a year off to restart the process. It will all be ok.