Discovering | Learning | Inspiring

Muddling through to become the person I aim to be

Creative Expressions

I have many outlets for my creativity. My two main outlets are writing and singing.

Singing for Me!

I have sung for most of my life but did not perform publicly until I was a freshman in high school. Thinking back to my first perform of Marques Houston’s “Circle” at Shakespeare Fest, I was terrified. I sang acapella and I remember all those eyes just staring at me. Then my worst fear happened: my voice cut out at the high part. I thought I completely made a fool of myself. However, when the song ended everyone applauded. It was at that moment that I knew I never wanted to stop singing. I joined the choir the next year and haven’t stopped singing since. I even audition to study vocal performance in college. My world came crashing down when I found out I did not get into music school. I considered auditioning again, but ultimately decided against it. I started taking voice lessons at the music school and had every single voice teacher tell me that I had the talent to be a music student. I taught myself to play guitar my sophomore year of college and wrote my first full song entitled “Wanting You (Juan’s Song)” within one month. The song was a way of me expressing my adoration for my RA at the time. To this day, it is still one of the most beautiful songs I’ve written. The next fall, I had the opportunity to perform a paid show at a local venue. I was super excited. I had a ton of support at the show and only wanted to do my best. However, I was so never that I was playing wrong chords and forgetting lyrics. I thought it was an absolute mess but my supporters said I did great. That night, I told myself that every performance after that I would put my all into and show the world I am a force to be wrecked with. Many performances and songs written later, I am happy to say that I’m at a place where I am confident in my abilities and my style. I sing for me and no matter where I go in life I will never stop.

Writing My Story

From a young age I enjoyed reading. I saw the characters created as new friends to be made and the worlds they lived in as new places to be explored. In the first grade, I wrote a book about learning how to read. I remember my teacher falling completely in love with it. As I moved through elementary school, all of my teachers helped to cultivate my love for literature and writing. They introduced me to the Harry Potter series, Bunnicula, the Scooby-Doo novels, and so much more. Using that and my love for cartoons/anime shows, I would incorporate those themes into my works. I remember writing a Sailor Moon inspired picture book and having my reading buddy read it once. Around 5-6th grade, I just stopped reading unless it was for school. In 9th grade, I read Frankenstein for the first time. I enjoyed it but still didn’t read for fun much. I didn’t write stories either. My senior year of high school I wrote the “Shalimar Chronicles” as a tale for my senior english class. It was the first story I had written in years. Later that year I wrote “Love Knows No Gender” and it received an overwhelming response. It was the first story I wrote that explored same-sex relationships and coming to terms with one’s sexual orientation. With this reinvigorated passion for writing, I took an introduction to writing poetry and fiction course during my freshman year of college. From the beginning of the course I noticed how few freshmen were in the course. Week after week I was torn a new one. My confidence was shot. It would be another year and a half before I wrote again. I took Fiction Writing the summer after my sophomore year. I wrote two stories that summer that received quite a bit of praise: Thunder’s Roar and Head Vs. Heart. My confidence was back and I was reading for pleasure again. As I read more and more, I was inspired. Finding time to devote to writing became scarce. 2 years would pass before I attempted to write another story. While what I wrote was good, I never finished it. A year later during my first semester of grad school, I wrote 3 stories. The first was MY Story. I wrote about my life and my experiences leading up to graduate school and where I was at the time. It was personal. The second was “October Evening”, a story charting my intrapersonal (how I see myself) development. It contains elements of everything I love about literature: a unique world, fantasy, love and struggle. The last story I wrote was called “Quantasia & Qualique: Better Together”. This was more of a fun story related to quantitative, qualitative, and mixed methods styles of research. Once again, I’m inspired to write more. As I read more and more, I want to write more. Do I ever foresee my stories being published? No! Would it be awesome if they were? YES! But I write for me! As I continue to write, I’ll post them here.

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